Synergy in Marriage...

The greatest benefit of marriage is synergy. Two persons, a man and a women, join together in the contract of marriage, in front of the God and relatives & friends. In the new journey they are 'one' not 'two'. They have to fulfil the purpose of taking part in the growth of the society through their life. For the harmony in their life they have to exit from 'I' and 'You' to the phenomenon 'We'. Synergy is the combined power of the couples. They both can achieve more and more than they work separately. Every spouse need to take care of each one's interest in personal and social growth. There are couples who live on excuses blaming the other for each and every thing. There are also some other couples who want to get the credit of success in their name rather than sharing it together. All these incidents are ill treating your spouse and results in derailing your marriage. Couples should be intimate. One should definitely value their spouse. Deep friendship is the key for true intimacy. Treat your spouse as your best friend to feel free to share foolishness, have jokes and enjoy laughter. Ups and downs are common in life. Enjoy your happy time together. Face the crisis in your life together to lessen the stress. Plan the whole package of your life together. Togetherness is always sweet. Maintain the 'sweetness' in your life to sustain the 'Synergy' in marriage. You are no more two. You are blessed by the 'Almighty' to be 'One' and serve the purpose of your life to bring happiness and peace in the world.

Positive thoughts on a healthy marriage....

" I have a limit and when you reach it I dismiss you from my life." Is that such a simple thing?
Marriage is a lifelong contract between two beautiful souls to create harmony in the world.
Attitude plays the main role in marriage. So attitude is everything in marriage. Your style of thinking develops your attitude. When you think negative, when you expect negative, when you do negative, when you say negative, then all the results end up in negative. Attitude will decide the response in the forthcoming sessions whether personal or official.
Try to analyse your attitude if you truly need a change. Get ready to make changes in the areas where your spouse disagrees. Get rid of the attitudes of continuous complaining, expecting negative talks, getting angry, getting sad and feeling sick with no reasons. Find a nice and suitable time to sit together and go through the likes and dislikes and find more time to get involved in common likes to share fun and laughter. Being positive is the right way to correct your spouse's attitude and make life better. Change your negative attitudes for the most important persons in your life, your spouse and children. Don't expect to agree everything by your spouse. Being more positive you will be able to respect your spouse's view also.
A short visualization technique on cultivating positive thoughts.
Sit down and analyse all the negative thoughts in you.
Write down consciously one by one.
Go through it again, read, and convince that these are the thoughts you want to get rid off.
Write down, I want to get rid off all these negative thoughts to be a better me for a better marriage life. I am going to burn all these. Pray to the 'Supreme Power' to fill with the positives of these negatives. With firm determination and a burning desire, burn all the negatives you want to expel from you and see that it is no more. Repeat this for few days till you feel positive and experiencing to have positive attitude.

Newly weds to know please....

I am an Indian. In India we value family. Marriage is between two, but beyond the twosome we honour wholesome that are the families also. Marriage is the contract between bride and bridegroom, the relation is between the two families. The close family members are so important to be invited for the functions and get together. It was the custom followed and even following. But in the new generation, the nuclear family is turning out to be more nucleus with the stay of the young couple away from home in connection with their career.
One conversation of the mom to her daughter just before marriage, shocked me. It was, " Oh my darling the doors of this home is wide open 24/7, if any discomfort come in.' I didn't comment because it was not suited in the situation with a bunch of relatives. As a counsellor, after six months the mom came to me with indifferences of the newly weds for the last six months. With three sittings they overcame the problem and living happily. One main reason not to get adjusted was the 'mom's sweet words'. Never ever we should give any foolish ideas or suggestions to our children simply to lack their usual compromising skills.
Yes of course, the spouse is the most important person in our life after marriage. Being a social individual we are bound to be a loving family member too. So both brides and bridegrooms, please honour and respect your other family members and use all the negotiation, compromising tactics if needed to maintain healthy family relations. If not in long run, you are going to be the victims of not caring and valuing your family. Also happiness will be surface thing in those families. A fusion of taste, culture, habits, style, likes and dislikes of both the families have to be taken into consideration for a better family in the world. Compromising acts with a positive attitude is an essential key to lead a harmonious and blissful life. Thank you all!

Keys for successful Marriage...

We, me and my husband got married in 1976. By God's grace till now we are happy and  peaceful.
Trust and faith between us are the important key of the success in marriage. Of course from different family, we were totally different persons. Our marriage was an arranged one. We start to know each other only after our marriage. Arranged marriage was the ideal custom prevailed in our culture during that time. Slowly we start to love each other, recognize the likes and dislikes, passions of each other. First it was really hard to understand that I have to let go some of my favourites for my beloved.
My mom was the marriage counsellor for me. The rules and regulations were totally different that time. Even now, I respect those rules what my mom taught me. The nut shell is here.
"You are going to get married and being part of a new family. All families are having almost same rules and regulations with different amendments. You need to learn that from the first day itself from your husband, in laws and other members in that family. Your role as a wife is going to be more responsible to bridge between both the families. You have to respect and obey the elders, assist them whenever you are there, have dinner together, interact with all the members in the family, enjoy food with them, don't be reluctant to any food served and to create a oneness feel among all. The key to be a loving wife, daughter in law, sister in law and aunt in your new home is only in your hands. If you want to live happily go ahead with a positive approach without complaining for each and every small things you noticed in that new home which is not fair to you. Have faith in 'Almighty' the rest will be done by the 'God'. Good luck my dear!!!" This was my mom's words.
Even now I respect the words of my mom, because it was the real foundation in my life to be happy,  with my new relatives. Being simple and humble brings a lot. Tonnes of 'Happiness and Peace'.
We were so lucky to have faith in each other. We used to do household activities and backyard activities together. Where ever we go we will be together. Not in official sessions. Because we served in entirely different departments. Of course, we had and even now have difference of opinion. That is not a big thing. For us the little difference is the beauty in our life enabling both of us to think, speak and act differently. We underwent different courses such as psychology, yoga and meditation, astrology, human resource development etc. which in turn help us and our children to lead an ideal life. We love travel, photography, cooking and still enjoying all our passions.
My husband's words, "Now we are enjoying bonuses in our life. So let us be more and more simple and humble to our life." That is the success secret in our life. We are truly blessed by the "Almighty."
 

Good thinking for Good living

Thoughts in our mind is the fastest language. We are unaware of our thoughts. The kind of thoughts in our mind determines our happiness. If we are not happy then our life is a failure. Only happy people can make others happy. Unhappy people always talk about fear, doubts and failures. They are highly pessimistic and calling up failure in their lives and those who are related in their lives.
Good thinking and positive thoughts are the only way to lead a good and happy life.
We tend to please others and think if I do that will that be right, if I speak this will that be nice, if I go there will that be nice, if I sing will that be Ok, if I go this restaurant will that be delicious. Like wise the 'if's' won't allow us to things in a straight forward way. Out of the fear, doubt and repeated failures, one will get addicted to negative thinking which in turn results in a total negative attitude, jealous, stress and anxiety.
We have to be good thinkers to make good choices in our lives. The thoughts of yourself is very important. Be confident in you, be true to you, live your life are the beautiful ways to think good of yourself. The thoughts of others is also equally important to have good thinking. Find good in others around you, if anything against your wish and will, let it go. This helps you develop good thoughts in you. So also good thinking of the work both at home and outside fills positivism in you. Nothing is impossible. Everything will end in good. These thoughts helps to create a positive environment around you. Think good about your life goals and create positive choices to live your life good.
Good thinking results in good deed and good talk. The thoughts in our life is the real life we live.
A nice example on thoughts in real life by two beautiful women tempt me to narrate this below.
A  lady in her late sixties with illness of diabetes, cholesterol and blood pressure was under a fear of heart disease in her seventies. She made it happen. At 71, she underwent a bye pass surgery after a massive heart attack.
Another lady in her mid seventies planned for mountaineering. After rigorous practice and positivity she managed and succeeded in mountaineering at the age of 79.
This is how thoughts influence one to live good and beautiful in lives.

Beautiful Life

We all wish and love to have a beautiful life. When we see others, we feel they are having a beautiful life. In what volume we measure the beauty of life. Is that based on the material richness? May be, right. But honestly that is not the beauty. Beauty lies on the happiness you enjoy, the love you feel, the peace you experience and after all the contentment in your life.
Above all the material and physical beauty you have is there any thing missing in your precious life in terms of love, happiness, wisdom, bliss, peace, trust and strength. Honestly you can find a piece of fear is there, fear of death, fear of judgment and fear of expression. Build up confidence and trust in yourself. It will take time, the more honest you are the more fast you can grab the beautiful things in your life.
Go ahead and build your beautiful life by your own with a schedule of positives.
Demoralise your desires out of your reach.
Find your own time to have yoga and meditation.
Be a member of the team at home and at your work place.
Find satisfaction and happiness in which you have.
Count the blessings you have.
Sharpen your ears to listen compassionately.
Clear up your eyes to see good in others.
Tame your tongue to speak nicely.
Be assertive and service minded. They are lots and lots of people around us who need care.
Practice compassion and humility in your life.
Smile at the world to get the smile back to live a beautiful life.

Find your Peace...

Today is the International day of Peace. We all need peace, we all want peace. So it is clear that we have to be peaceful. Is that happening to us? Some how we can adjust everything outside, but back home, we start blaming, complaining and arguing for silly things with our dear ones. Why? We can vent our stress and irritations in the most comfortable place in the world, that is our home. Then after a while everything quietens down and we are stress free.
Is this a healthy practice? After a big scene of unhealthy attitudes and then to healthy. No, not at all.
Take a moment. Think of self. Think of others. Everybody needs peace. We should not be the one to spoil the calmness. Meditation is the best way to practice peace. Look inward, concentrate within and find the true you. Find out the weakness in you and get rid of it with a systematic and disciplined regular practice.
Peace is the religion of soul. Peace is the natural path, from where we all come out, we all are moving and we all come back to. Peace is our original nature. Peace is who we are.
A simple meditation for peace in a group or individual. Sit comfortably where ever you feel to get peace. Do this meditation for five minutes. By repeated affirmations and assurance make it true.
'Just remember who we are. Just remind us, we are all peaceful by nature. At the end of a busy day we want to be at peace, because peace is who we are. Just remember in meditation, we are peaceful, we need peace, we are here for justice and we are here for harmony. Enjoy the state of remembering we are peaceful. Then let us fill our self with peace and imagine, how will we be when we are peaceful in our conversations, in our interactions with others, in our activities and in our attitudes. Let us decide to have this change and experience the peace in us, where we go, where we work, where we chat and with all to whom we are related. Listen to the quietness within, listen to the quietness outside. Now the soul is quiet, we are revealing the true essence within us. Now we are in peace, Yes, we are peace. We need to enjoy peace and to spread peace to our fellow beings. We need to make the whole world peaceful. We love to live in a peaceful world. We can do that. We can make others also take part in spreading and maintaining a peaceful community around us. We don't want to let go the peace. We want peace in every moment. Om Shanti! Om Shanti!! Om Shanti!!!'
For a peaceful life we need to think about peace, we need to talk about peace, we need to give away peace and we need to fill the world with peace.